Im sayin Goodbye again. :(

Goodbye Blogger. I will be less less online start from tomorroe.
Goodbye FB. I will meet u in my phone. Via clcm SMS, i comin.
Goodbye wireless. WAAAA. I miss it. I cant download new song anymore.

Wuwuwuwu. SO SAD.
Must be boring ba.

SO LONG. TILL WE MEET AGAIN.
PARTY HERE I COME!

I love Arts.

My edited Pic. Silly face. :D

Talking about arts. Yes. I like arts.
I love photos. I love edit it. I love colors. Art is my favorite subject. Cause i love create something different than others.
I like being creative. :D

Laughed and tired.

Laughed

This afternoon, me, mum and sis went to Hair Saloon. My mum wants to regulung her hair.
I told her.

Me : Mum, u will be so ugly if u regulung your hair. Trust me. U will look like alleycats hair mom..ur hair is to short ba. .
Your hair will be a habitat for mosquitos and flies. = ="

Then the taukenio start to do her hair.
While me and my sis sat on the plastic chair near the door.
Door open.
Suddenly i saw this dude pass me by. Chinese guy. Cute looking face. Nice hair too.
And he sparkle like a superstar. Haha.
I try to look at him. But he look at me back. Oh. Malu saya.
He always staring at me.
U think i dont know ka u tengok saya, ha?
(Mun pasal laki hensem2 tok, juling mata la aku. hee.)

After hour by hour waiting for my mum done with her hair.
Im shocked.
Looking my mom's hair. . .
And i start to
LAUGHED! HAHAHAHAHA! Omg. I told u! U ugly mom. Your hair. . . . OMgosh.
You look like a grandma. Hafiz AF hair ka? hahaha.
Sorry mom.
Couldnt stop laughing.
Adoha.

My mom laughed too. And the chinese dude also laughed when he saw me laughing. Anyway he is cute.
hahaha. XD. Mom, mom.



Tired

Yeah. Tired. Home work is pain. Errrgh.
Just now we got gotong royong outside my house. Cabut rumput. Play with dirt.
euuwww. Tired ba.

Trauma came back

I was in my room.
Im having a trauma for a minute ago. I supposed to forget about that. But it still play on my mind.
Just now Tim ask me a questions about how do i broke up with my ex.
Im shaken to tell him the story. I know it will remember me about what happend between me and my ex a few months ago.
Im taking a deep breathe and tell him the whole story.
I tried to closed my eyes after that. Those flasback tries to hunting me again.
I was crying. Im scared.
And even can't breathe.
I wish i could forget about it.
But, everywhere i go. . . . It always hunting me. I couldn't run away from it.
To me,this is the biggest TRAUMA in my life that always stick with me forever. :(

.

Yeah. Homework is pain!!

Pagi tadi aku tido kul 5 pagi. HEBAT. :)
Dan pagi tadi aku bangun kul 8 pagi. LAGI HEBAT.

Aku ingatkan bos aku pi keja. Ingatkan dapat bangun lambat. Tp hasrat tidak kesampaian la pulak.
Suara ibuku yg menjerit nama ku membuat ku manaz pagi2 td. Hish!
Nasibla ibu tidak menyuruhku mencuci pinggan yang begitu banyak td.
Jadi, aku keluar dr kamar ku dan mengambil peluang utk menyenyakan diri sebentar.
Ahhh~

Aku menemani ibuku ke pasar untuk membeli periuk sebesar kaki gajah untuk kegunnaan majlis perkahwinan kakak ku yang akan berlansung pada minggu hadapan. Kemudian, aku dan ibu pergi ke kedai baju-bajuan kerana ibu ingin membeli seluar. Bukan seluar dalam. Tapi seluar slack.
Aku juga mengambil kesempatan untuk membeli seluar jean. Dengan melihat riak wajah ibuku itu, aku berkata dalam hati:

Aku: Peduli pa mak nganuk. Seluar jean ku ct ajak. Bli la bru.

Selepas itu, aku dan ibu pergi ke Market Ikan. Ketika sedang mencari ikan untuk dimakan, ibuku hampir tergelincir. Dan aku terus ketawa tanpa henti. Aku tau aku begitu jahat. Tapi tidak apa. Bukan selalu. Kesian ibu ku.

Tiba di rumah, aku mencuba seluar yg dibeli ku td.
O SHIT! Aku berkata.
Terlampau sempit la! urrrgggh! Rugi mai ku mli. Damd it! Aku berkata lagi.
Yah. begitula crita ku hari ini. Sekian.


The end.


Oh lupa. Aku terasa ngantok dan tertido. At last. . . . :D

Camera and Mp3 Player, I need You.

I want this. I want this CAMERA.
I want it. I will get it soon. :D

And I want THIS too. OMG!

Wedding Dress

I LOVE THIS SONG!

Lady gaga is sexaaaaay!

I was watching this video of Lady Gaga with song called Lovegame.

OMG! She so SEXAAAY!
Did u see tat? Is she naked?
OOOOH. I love her hairstyle when she dance on those stair. :D
If im a dude, im not watching her sing or danced. Maybe im watching other place. Like. . . TuT. .
Look, I know how the guys behavior when the saw the gurls.
Look. They touch Gaga BOOBS! You guys,dude. . . so Kanji.
Damd She hot.
Did she just kiss the girl?? Euwww!

I was sitting on couch alone and watching it. And i was talking to myself while im watcthing the video clip on Hitz.

Me: Omg. Berani mai org putih ngno bju k bkanyak. Manah nda ibuh bebaju skali. Balat mai video Lady gaga tok. Nda gaga ndar ku mdo. Pek ayan ndai meh yo kiruh. Gerenti stim penari laki k ngau yo nyok. **watching the dancer . . . . . Tut . . .** dah agak dah. Nang stim. = ="

Did i just say that?
OH MY! Urusula, your bad girl. U kanji amai.
Neh. Nama salah ku kanji deh. Semua mensia bc nafsu ba. Sapa mensia k ndai nafsu nang nda normal yo nyok.

Sha la la la

Jam sekarang menunjukkan pukul memukul 3.04 pagi.
Yeap. And im still awake. Play my Facebook. Chat with my rejected brother in law.
Haha. We both gossiping about my sister.

Waaa. Im so evil. Say something bad about my sister. muahaha! Bukan selalu.
I dont like your husband later ba sis. haha. I like Jeremy better coz he so funny . . . . and crazy.
Stupid ba you rejected him. Buduh.

Awww. Evil sula. U so evil. :D

Kelaparan Di Pagi Hari.

Now is 3.2o am. I went outside and locked the gate.
Creepy. Its too dark outside. My heart beat fast. I ran like crazy people into the house. Afraid if i saw "somthing". . . .
Buyan. Nabes aku.
I feel sleepy and try to close my eyes.

Suddenly i hear my stomach "Ringing" . . . . Damd. Im hungry. Luckily i got junk food to eat.

Roller coaster and aik bungai :D

I got HIV negative :D

Haha. HIV negative.
Sister, You got HIV positive. You in danger. OMGosh! LoL.

I got this stamp from the World Vision exhibition about HIV details. Then i saw many people queue at the exhibition maze. I think so. It just look like a maze. Ha ha.
Me and my sis enter the exhibition maze and this people gave us a headphone and mp3.
No song in the mp3, alright. Only a voice of woman tell a story about HIV patient.
We went inside there, a lot of pictures. . .
But its enjoyable. Ha Ha. Macam orang sakai.

I bought a hair curling today. And the result how my face look like when my hair curl is like this :

Xda beza kan? Hoho. Saja jak mok show off :B

Kambing = ="?

This morning, my mom and my neighbour went to Bekenu to buy a sheeps. I think. . . . . or maybe a goats. . . . . = =" . . .watever la.
Euuw. . . how gross. Blood everywhere. Tidak tahan the smell. ah!
Bwekkk!

kesian ko kambing, dahla bebau gik. kenak bunuh lagi. ish2. RIP.



Euuuw!

My mom made a kari kambing just now. Yummy.
Delicious you know. Herm. . . . .talkin about curry, I never heard about Pork Curry la. .
Camne nda rasa kari babi oo. . . . .

Movie maker again?

Pagi yg gelap, kini masih gelap. . . (lagu Hujan band). . . Aha.

Morning world :D
Awal juga saya bangun hari ini. Biasala, VAMPIRE ba. Kan2?
Haih.

Erm . . .well, i just uploaded my third video here. I think.
I made this video just for boredom. Xda kena mengena dengan org lain melainkan aku dan krew skru member ctok. Ngeee :B

So, go and watch la. hehe. Walaupun xbrapa. :D

(running out of ideas to write something here)

Aha. Movie Maker. FUN :D

Wake up early morning... Ahh..and now my stomach try to "misscall". . . .
Thankx 4 waking me up so early mom. But i will back to my bed and sleep again after you're go for work.
Big chance for me. Aha.

Sleepy mode.

Uh. . . Just now i make a movie u know. Spend my boring time to make this simple movie. And i enjoy doing it.
Go and watch it okay. HEe :D

Off to bed now.
(lazy)

What time is it?

OMG! 4 am already ka? !
Wa manyak terer u punya mata ,oO sula. Mata batu ker? = .=
Here my INSOMNIA comes again. Adoha. Orang lain tdo, aku tok bila lagi mok tdo.
Mok jadi vampire kedak EDWARD la rasa.
Cali. Muahahaha!
Sanggup mengata diri sendiri. ^^ Ngek.

Ya la tek. Ym ngan budak tok. Paul Anchon.
Sik disangka2 nya juak mok takel aku. Ish2. Dasyat d Paul. Awwww~
Why im so popular this recently ho?
Ngegeh nya aku aie. Kenja. ha ha. Just for fun okay?
Sorry la Paul mun aku skitkan hatimu itu. X ada niat ku berbuat begitu. ha ha.
Aku tok dah single double decker. So sepatutnya aku setia ngau gerek ku ba.
Amat nda jako ku? Ha ha.

Clayton. Yeap. Paul tok kawan clayton sebenarnya. Selalu agai taman nembiak tok. Hu hu.
Tp ku dgr cita dr Paul mdh Clayton tok main Batu. (Bukan batu seremban or batu nisan or batu bata)
Macam ne mok explain oo. Kira mcm sejenis dadah la.
Adodo, clayton Kenak la kw rosakan diri kw mcm ya. Tok mesti sebab aku tinggalkan kw. Sorry clayton, i can't do anything. Accept it.

(Yawn) Sleeepy. . .
Tdo tok klak bukan ada apa mok polah. Nasib bosh keja pagi. Dapat la ku bgun lewat klak.
Ngam gilak time tok hujan. I can feel the air outside my window blow through my skin. And i shivering with coldness. Brrrr~ sejuk eh. But I like. . .Stim ajak asa. (mun laki tauk la aku tyme sejuk nang nya stim aja2. But y the because ho? oopsie~ )

Kanji sulla ya kanji. Ha Ha.

Im off to bed now. :D

Edward In My Dream??

Edward <3

Last nite, while i sleeping. I have this dream. haaaaaah~
I know it sounds crazy when i tell you this. This is not real. This is just a DREAM, okay.
As you can see, Edward Cullen was in my dream. I can't believe it at first. But i have to. Like i told you. It just a "DREAM" . So don't get jelous for no reason people.
So, I dream of Edward. In my dream, we play "catch me if you can". = =
Running there running here. We both laughing. He got me. Then something just happend.
HE KISS ME! Lip to lips ba.

Awww~ tergoda i~
Kanji you Sula! :D

I know it sounds crazy. Tp apa boleh buat dah namanya MIMPI.
Just accept the nature.
What a perfect dream. Haaaa~ :)

New Moon

New Moon :)

Im watching this movie last nite. Just bought it from cd shop at Parkson yesterday. Whole of the story, i can say. .OKAY. And sometimes i cant understand some part on this movie.
But i only know that Bella really love Edward. And poor Jacob. Bella left him.
Never mind Jacob, aku kan ada disisimu. I won't let you go. Aha! Ngek. :)
And i hate the ending.

Edward: Bella, will you marry me?
Bella: ......................................

The end. Black skrin appeared. LoL.

Im curious to know what Bella decision. Urggh.
Now, im waiting for next movie, ECLIPSE. On June 2010. Lama nya mau tunggu. Hmmmm.

I LOVE DANBO!!

DANBO! I LOVE YOU!


You are so CUTE and UNIQUE :D

Aaoowww~ how cute! >_<

Love This! :D

Look! The twilight books! Awesome. haha

OMG! Damd Cute ba ni.

With E. . . .? Forgot the robot name la.

Ouch! Malu :[

Iban Version :D

Lemai td, aku agai taman neman k cdak Ida ngau geng semut ya main. Deden pun ku baik gak. Lagipun time nyak ku adai pengawak. Ambik masa la kak kuar neman k cdak ya. Hoho.
Datai jak ba taman nyak, kami semua main jongkang jongket. Aku pun join sekaki juak. hoho.
Apala salah jadi budak kecik kejap. (sanggup menghina diri sendiri budak kecik) Lol.
Ya la tu. Mentang2 aku tok kecik.
Umm. Kecik2 pun comel jugak. Hoho.Kan2? ( Mengenja jap)
Time main jongkang jongket nyak, ku betundi la ngau anak jiran ku tok tadi. Dlm masa yg sama gak, msj ari Tim datai. Ku on da way kak reply. . .Boop! Labuh ku ari jongkang jongket nyak td.
Dahla indu cina spiak k benung main benda yg sama mda aku. Ado! Malu aku.
Kak pan nda ngagak diri ketawa time labuh nyak untuk kawal perasaan malu ku nyak. Lol.
Apa la nasib. Huh.
Nyamai asai sulla?
Nyamai. Asai k gik kak ku labuh. Ilak ku try labuh ari menara KLCC. Asaiku nyadi super dumber girl ku later. Masuk news. Fames ba. Hahaha.

How do met him? Here the answer.

How do i met him. Umm. Okay, When i was in kuching, I went to my cousin house after my mum
went back to Miri. She left me alone. = .=

Then i stay over with them.
Umm. On the next next next day, after i take a showered, i went downstair, i saw Tim. Hoho.
Looking so noob. Muka kesian jak upa. Ngahaha!

Actually he is my cousin's husband friend. . . first met i didn't talk to him. Coz i know we both nang suka jual mahal. Mun murah mok la aku beli. Haha.
First i saw him, i kinda like him. Hoho.
Could that be falling in LOVE? **tertelan biji durian**

Nge nge puling k utai. (my cousin said that)
You bastard IKAN GONJENG!

Falling in love for the fourth time? Buat2 tauk jak la... **anguk palak**
Okay, how do we falling in love? I love to tell you this. Its really weird.
It start when i leaved Kuching. Since i've been there i never ever talked to him face 2 face or even on the phone.
Actually this plan was made by my cousin. SHE SO IKAN GONJENG IKAN PUSU.
Terer kop polah plan. Plan pa gik ko pandei polah? plan lukis kapal?
Actually im quite upset on her but honestly i do like Tim.
I leaved Kuching and went to my longhouse at Betong. After that.. on the next, next ,next, next and next day, Tim suddenly SMSTexting me. Really hairan.
I didn't sms him. I knew who did this. My cousin Gonjeng. X habis2 ko buli and menyeksa aku ho. Sampai hempedu ko polah aku kdak ya. Sob Sob.
After i, or her, sms him, he ask me, or her to be his girlfriend. So i or her accepted it. Weird kan.
Bercouple dalam hp. Jumpa pernah. Tp x penah becakap. What kind a realationship is that?
Couple through phone? Or Simple Love? Ha Ha.
So noob.
Terover Simple ya.


So now, We bergerek la. SIMPLE kan? Haha.
Bis cita. Hoho. Mlas ku mok taip panjang2. Chiao!

Im a Christmas disaster :)

CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS!

Ho Ho Ho. Christmas fever is getting near, dude. And the end of the year 2009 will end.
Say HOLLA to 2010.

I will miss my 2009 memories. Miss all the past. Miss my ex too. Shhhh.
This 2010, my new life, my new journey will be change. Time to grow up, brothers and sisters.
I wish for 2010, my journey of life will be perfect, perfect and PERFECT. :)

This Christmas, im not celebrating it at my home. How Sad. :(
I and my family will celebrating our Christmas together at my kampung ba. Huhu.
And uh, My sister is getting marry after Christmas.
Wow. The excited moment will come. Haha.

READY TO GET DRUNK COUSINS! IT'S HAPPY TIME! :D

Sunday Ahad :)

THE END IS NEAR

Just now, i was watching this movie that i bought from the CD shop this afternoon. It 2012! Its a doomdays. IM SO ADDICTED TO IT! I think i wanna watch it a million times after this. HaHa.
The movie really EXPLODE my heart! Im speechless when i saw it.
Wow! The earth really self-destructed by nature. I can't believed it.
Hermm. Kinda want to know more about the story. Well, here the web that i just found just now.

(http://www.endoftheworld2012.net/)

Lot of story inside it. Kinda interesting too. The best part is when i read the description about HELL.

This movie really makes me cried. Yeah. I'm cried when i watched this movie ba. SO SAD!
WHY? I saw those people keep saying goodbye to their love one when they know the world will end. And then, i saw the ground shaken, the road started to cracked and split, the city was destroyed, the tsunami... and.. importantly the people's life.
Im SPEECHLESS. Trust it or not, i still don't know whether it will become real.
Really SCARED me.

This afternoon, i went to this shop. The EHL shop. O heaven! The clothes are really cheap! All clothes cost RM10. I wanna SHOUT like hell!
I just bought a dress from it. But it cost Rm30. Well, I'm satisfied right now. :B

:D

Mok mengenja jap. :D

Tell me

O my dear Luwie, how i miss you this lately. I unpatient and can't wait to see you soon. Im missing your hug and the way your lips touch mine. The moment will arives soon dear. Its time to make someone jealous about us. Let show our power of love to them. They will undertands us.

Just now i finish my dinner...breakfast?...dinner? Whatever it is. Im totally hungry.
Waiting for my dad to go back home to take us out to eat...Look at the time.. ITS TOO LATE!
Gosh! Lapar macam apa aku tok.

Tik tok tik tok the clock. The times is near. Christmas will come soon. OH YEAH BEBEH!
Sadly i can't celebrating christmas in my hometown coz my sis wedding will be held on the next day of christmas.

NaaaH~

I don't care at all. My sis wedding will be a very great moment where the fun and joy begins.
YES O YES! Cousin, friends, people, We will have a really great time that day! Can't wait!
And oh, mum spent RM500 for the alcoholic drinks. Really lots of that.

And yesterday, i received a SMS from my cousin, Awa.



Awa: Cdak claytn pulai magang kawen idek ilak. Ilak kitai dak Tim show off ngau ya.

ME: Ya ka? Nda ptt eh. Bkani d nemu?

Awa: Kazen ya k bc gen2 nyak. 20 dec cdak ya dtai.

ME: Nyok pun nti clayton bc ngau pulai.

Awa: Indai ya sampal pulai.

ME: Oh! nyak k ngai ku tok.Nti yo datai ilak dpn ya ku ensium Tim. Hoho.

Awa: manah meh nyak. nti sduai Tim besium mdh k ku. ku kak mda. hoho.

ME: Nyibuk aja d nyak. hoho.



What?! They will come? Adodo. Maka tidak dijemput pun. Tidak know malu they itu. Huh.
I really wish they would not come. Saw my ex again? Urgh. Not again..

My Little Art :D

Welcome to Tymosulla Gallery show!
Watever~

I feel really bored. With the time that i have i was decided to create some Arts. Below are some of my pictures that i took and try to edit it.

My shoe! <3

Rudolph The Rednose Reindeer.. Christmas is near! :)

About Love :)

Miri Im arrived! Miss me? :)

Dont Have Any Words To write In here! Just Want To Say:

IM HAPPY and FREE!

I Have Found My True Love! Don't Jealous! His better than my ex.
Dear ex, Bubye! Im kicking you out from my life forever.

SINGLE, BUBBYE!

True Love Welcome. My Dear Timothy. You shined my life.

I always want to say;

I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH!

Im Happy Happy:))

OMG. I never be happy like this since im with Clayton before. When im with him, something went so wrong. Can't do that. Can't do this. Hey mr, I can take care of myself. I have a brain to think. Not like you. Short-minded.

Now you tell me that you feel regret followed the "samseng" group? Who ask you to join them hah?! You know i benci nangga kw masuk ngan geng cdak Tiger ya. Pa faedah kw ikut cdak?? Mok minta burukkan nama family kediri ka?? Tengok la sendiri dolok, kw ya masih kecik ka dah besar?? dah tua2 x pandei mok bepikir panjang! Ya la! pentingkan diri sendiri. Ingat aku mok ka nanga gerek ku "samseng"! WTF la. Then, i decided to break up with him. Can't continued our relationship like this.

Fullstop. Are you happy now?? Totally :)

Just came back from Rainforest. It Ladies Nite. SALUTE! damd wow. Its really happening there. The place where i wanted to go. CLUBBING of coz! Ha Ha. Where my happy mood begin to shout!

Me.Vie.Erry.Andrew.Mr dJ.

Me & dj

Me. Ery.Awa.

We were followed by my cousins and their friends. OMG! Really happening giler..
Saw them play the snooker too. Saw them drink. Ehem. Im not an alcoholic person okay. I've got gastrick if i take an alcoholic drinks. Say no to IT!
Saw them get drunk! AH! How funny. Make me laughed all the time. Then, wathing the Dj played the Rnb songs, make we want to Dance! I followed them dancing too! WOOHOO! I like~
I say Richie dancing SHUFFLE while he drunk. Haha. Not bad.
While we're danced, i look to this chick or "bitch" dancing like..err.. i dont know. Everytime i looked makes me wanna puke.. Gross~ Aiyayai. So BITCH!
With the music non- stop, we're enjoy ourself dancing. My cousin dancing on the chair. OMG! Make me laughed.. Ha Ha. Try to follow that bitch dancing too?? .. haha. Roboh pub kelak.

While i went to the toilet followed by my cousin, i saw this cute guy looking at me and smiling at me. His a kayanesse. I smiled him back la. Ngee.
Then we talked. Just for a coupled of minutes. Coz i want to pee. Haha.
My heart really pounding. I think i fall in love with him. I dont care if him drunker or smoker. I like him. SO CUTE.
After pee, i went to my sit. haah~ lega. Then we enjoy for more than hours. Very fun time.

Around 1:45 am, we stop. All my cousin and friend are drunked. I went to upstair waiting for them. Suddenly this cute guy holding my waist. I shocked. I was him.
OMG! My heart pounding very fast. He was drunk also. But still can talked with me.
Nothing talk much. Bla.. bla..bla.
When i near him, i feel so warm and so happy. I was thinking " wish you kiss me now i dont care".. haha. stupid thoughts.
Im so pity of him that i told him im about to go home. He told me that he want to sent me home. I refused it. Im still scare of people okay. Then i left. With a big smile on my face.

Goodbye College. Goodbye Kuching. Gonna Miss it.

Quiting college. Seems like i make a big mistake in my life. I mean really big mistake. I thought i could go far. But im stranded on the middle of the road.

What have I've done? Am I gonna ruin my own future? What will happen to you? Are do you the right things?

Those creepy question keep hunting me everyday causing me can't make any decisions . My mouth zipped. And i couldn't answer it. I was in my own FANTASY.

I am no one. I'm not perfect. I have my LOVE-LIFE suck. I'm easily giving up. I'm weak. I'm just a lonely person with too many secret inside that no one couldn't figure. I couldn't believe my own faith either.

My LOVE-LIFE try to fade me away. I was lost because of it.
Why LOVE should exist? Why LOVE makes people hurts? Why I must have those FEELINGS??
I don't need all those things. I don't believe in LOVE anymore. LOVE hunted me.
I know me and him couldn't make it trough. Unfair is it? This world so cruel is it? If i have one wish, I wish i could turn back time where all its happened. Where I've done a big mistake onto him. Im sorry for what I've done. I've destroyed our relationship. There's nothing both of us can't do. One of your side can't accept me. Neither am i.
I know we both can accept it. But we have too. It for our best. We have to let our LOVE go and i couldn't say goodbye.

Remembering those memories of you and me. How hurts to remembering it. You take my happiness. My heart faded.
How will i be happy without you? I just can't pretend i'm happy and fake my smile so no one could no how broken and weak am i.

My life turns black. I couldn't saw any light. Its dark.

Soon, I'm leaving. Leaving my college and leaving this town. I'm going back to where i belong. I couldn't stayed here too much longer. I know i couldn't take care of myself. I always getting sick. I've lost my appetite. Sleep too late. I was stressed and depressed.
Living in a rent room alone..can caused me CRAZY. I couldn't stand it anymore. I need to go back home. I'm suffered enough.

"YOU'LL NEVER KNOW HOW BEING ALONE FEELS LIKE WITHOUT SOMEONE".

I already feels it.

Books.

WANTED!!

I bought this.
Wanted all that book. Hell Yeah! Nighmare come to me.
Vampire bite me please. Witch, spell on me!

Im Stupid :(

Goodnite??

Its morning already. A dark morning. He he.
Now 1:38 am. WOW. Still not sleep yet. Thats sound good. Heh!
Shhhh~ Dont tell my boyfriend i sleep late always. Zipped. I dont want him too much worry about me. Sorry sweetheart. L<3ve>. Mwah!

This morning i didnt come to Microeconomics class. Study burden me. Cant think and understand. Urrgh! My eyes sleepy. Last nite i sleep late too.
I was too lazy to walk to the college. I wish i have a bicycle. Only me use a bicycle to the college? Crazy Uh! No way. I dont want that happen.
Urgh! I cant focus to study anymore. IM STUPID, okay?! Im not that clever person. I just have 30% intellegent part in my brain. The others, lost/dissapear.
How im going to tell my mom i want to quit my study? Should i pretend i took an exam this december and fail then tell her i dont want to take exam anymore for excuses the payment is too expensive??? O God. What have i done! I can't save myself. My future is ruin. Im ruin it. :(
I really regret it now. I feel quilty to my mom.

"Im sorry Mom. I know u will mad at me. I cant really do this anymore. I want to quit. Im sorry i waste your money. Later i pay you back. "=.=

( wish i could use this word to talk face 2 face with her. EEEeee..~ takutnyer aku! )
When its time, I will tell her everything. Ready kena bom atom.. :(

“Tomorrow will give us something to think about”

To think what?? I think everyday ! Til my brain explode? urggh!

Im So Alone

Hello bloggee..

Its been a week, I mean.. More than a week! urgh!
My laptop was sent to shop for repair. LCD broken. It took so long to repaired. Promised finish in 1 week. More than a week, still not done yet! CIBAI! Macam2 alasan cdak nya!
So i took my laptop back.Still with the LCD crack. HUH!
For more than a week i didn't do nothing. Without my laptop, Im really bored to death. NO WAY!
I need my laptop..

Bloggee,

Yesterday, My mom going back to Miri. Im ALONE. I was crying that day saw them leaving. Hurts to say GOODBYE!..
Then, my lil bro saw me crying. He oso crying. When i hold him, i try to let he go but he didnt. I was crying and crying. I hugged him.
Then, they left.

IM SO ALONE :(

It's 12:51 am. And im not sleeping yet. Biey warned me already. Do not sleep past 1 am. In case, I will kena lecture. But i don't want to tell him that. Takut saya~~
Need to do something. What else? Im going back to Kuching tomorrow. Packing my clothes and put in the bag. :'(
A sad moment. What a short break. Only a week. Not enough ba. I wish i could have a school break 3 years or forever. LoL.
No more school la kalau itu macam. I know i will cry a lot tomorrow coz im leaving my hubby.Scare me. (sob..sob..) I really don't want too far away from him. I really love him. I know i couldn't survive without him. Coz without him my life will be more complicated. I don't want that happend again. No. And never.

(SHOCK)

Hey. i got visitor coming just now. Tetamu tidak diundang. Aiyer~
Take a look. who was it.

Its a..............frog???

where the hell are u coming from?? I closed the door already. Ruang pintu bawah kecik macam mana lu masuk? Im blurrrrrr~

Haiya. Disturbing my mood saje.
Last nite, dear phone called me. Not kinda interesting topic to talked actually. Its all about his business. what else? About fight with other people la. No need me to tell to much details okay~ non of us business. Muahahaha!
Talked talked talked.. bla bla bla.. and i keep listen to what he said. Really annoyed me. I hate listen to that. Because i love you, i listen la, ho. Har Har. :)

Yeah. Im totally in love with you, Biey. I will happend forever. Is it?
How awful. Im going back to Kuching tomorrow. It doesn't feel uncomfortable at all. Im leaving you here. How hurts it is. I couldn't stop crying. Looking at the mirror and saw my eyes like a fishball. Im raining heavily my own. My chest really damd hurt.
Thanks biey, for always be with me this whole day. The simple moment that i really makes my life more happy.
Remember what we're doing today. Watching Titanic together. Romantic giler we tadi. Then, i dye your hair. A chestnut colour. Pandai nya aku pilih kaler~~
I help you straighten your hair. Sorry for pulling your hair that hard~~ Oooopsie.
Then, i cook ayam goreng and kacang panjang for you. Then having lunch together. I knew you like my ayam goreng. Delicious kan Biey?

Me: Nyaman kan ayam goreng aku kan? kan?..hee hee
Biey : Auk. Nyamai tai panduk bini Biey.. hee hee.
Me: Biniiiiiiii~ weh weh..hui.. hehe. (laughing)

Thanks for the compliments Cyg! Love you so much. I will cook for you again next time. No worries.

Around 5 pm. Back from Dublin house. Biasa la lepak jap.. Biey sent me back home. I feel really sad. I was tried to cry that time. But i hold it. That was the last time i saw him and the last time i kissed him. OMG! This feeling ruins me. :'(
Just finished packing all stuff. I cried a lot. Cried like mourning on someone. I cried about for 4 hours until Biey asked me to called him. Then i called him.

Conversation details

Biey: Hello.
Me: Hello. **cry**
Biey: Namahal nyabak deh~?
Me: Nda mu~~
Biey: Badu nyak gik arr.. ku pan nda nyamai asai.
Me: .............**quite for a moment**
Biey: Ni baju b deh?
Me: Tok~~ bok ditu~~**cry**
Biey: Baik nn tindok?
Me: Auk arr~~
Biey: Thank u auk. Nama tai dah dbri nn agai aku. Nn mli rantai k ku, nn dye buk k ku,nn transfer kredit agai aku. Thanks auk.
Me: **Cry hardly**
Biey: Ku nemu, nn kak balas bru nama tai gagak ku agai nn subak. Ku nemu nn kak berubah nyadi manah. Amat kan?
Me: Auk~
Biey: Thanks auk.
Me: Auk.~~
Biey: B, nyemak aku k ndai bok dunia, maksud ku, ndai bok dunia tok gik la. Nn amat2 sayau k ku kan?
Me: Auk arr~(Y you say like dat?)** cry**
Biey: Sekirala ku ndai, nama pilihan nn. Nn amat2 sayau k ku. Nn ngau aku ka ataupun nn teruskan hidup.
Me: **pikir 10 minit** kak ngau nn~**thinking about the Titanic. "i jump, u jump"**
Biey: Maksudnya nn kak bunuh diri la?
Me: **quite**
Biey: Nti nn amat2 sayau k org nyak kan,nn mesti teruskan idup. Nti nn ngau aku, nn nda ulih agai alam aku. Phm nn?
Me: Auk~
Biey: Badu gik nyabak. Bah. kak tdok ku. Jimat k nn pgilak. Ang tdok laun. Limit nda tauk limpas kul 1. Nn danuk ku nn. Ninggo?
Me: Auk~~ ninggo (sob..sob..)
Biey: Bah. Cyg hny. Msj ku pgilak auk. transfer kdit pgilak.
Me: Cyg b gak. Auk ar..

Conversation off. I stop cried sudah.

Look at the clock. AAOoh~ 1:56 am. My bus is about 6:10 am. I better off to sleep now. I dunno how do i feel tomorrow. PENAT!



Kuching, here i come back. :'(

Happy Hour :)

Yesterday, i went out with my dear. Poor sis kan~ i couldn't accompanied her go to my aunty house. SORRY ~

Yesterday kan, me and my dear went to Parkson Megamall. He want to buy a necklace.

Arrived at the shop...

Dear: Bakatok meh rantai kak d beli.
Me: *mouth open* Apu! manah gik rantai ukui. (wah! jahat my mulut) brapa harga nyak?
Dear: * show the price tag* RM49 (smile)
Me: Aiyo! Murah mai nyak deh~ RM4.90. Masuk buku 3 lima auk, b? hee hee.
Dear: *Laughing*

I gave him the money, then he went to paid.

Dear: Thanks auk. *do muka manja* Kenangan ba.
Me: Hek eleh. Heee *with my evil smile*

Then, we went to Boulevard to repaired my laptop. OMG! just got cracked in the screen cost RM750! WTF! Separuh daripada harga laptop ya!! URH!
Then called my mom, and talked about that.

Me: Mak, RM750 knak ngadu k screen nyak. Bekeni deh?
Mom: APOO~ nda ibuh adu nyak diak, Pulai kuching ilak ngadu k. Engka bc murah mimit.
Me: Arite.

Then, we went to Imperial mall. Haha. I bought The sim 3. HAPPY ! Happy that it could not be played! ARRRGH!

Then, then kan.. we went to Taman Selera. Ahhh~~ those beaches~~ How i miss it! we were walking. Playing.Holding our hands. Hugging. Kissing in the public ( i hope no one noticed). How i love the moment. Never forget that.

= =" mcm budak kecik jak upa.

Hee~

Thinking of what dear?

MIRI IM HOME! MISS ME? :)

Holidae time!! KRINGGGGG!

Just 4 a week :(
X besh alu! bg la 3 tahun cuti ka. Har Har :B

Glad i came home. Haaaaaaaah~ feel more peace. Can smell my room again. How stink it is~
How i miss my bed..

Just arrived yesterday. Used a Borneo bus.. my butt hurts. Ouchiey!
Minta urut my dear later. Hee hee.
Supposed to arrived around 6. But, the bus broke down at Batu Niah and have to wait another bus. OH HOW WONDERFOOL!
wait about an hour.
Arrived at home around 8. Aiyaiyaiyai~
Really tired. Plus i got a fever and cough. Damd!
Poor me kan?~

Haaaaaah~... really miss my bed. And miss my dear.
Yesterday i met him. Give him a kissed and hugged.OH. HOW I MISS HIM! :)
Really miss ur face, ur touch, and ur kisses.
ARRH~ How gila me~~
How happy i am can see you again.

SYG NYA BAH <3

Har Har Har :)

Ha ha ha!
My stupidity level increases! Ha ha ha.
Alrite. Stop laughing like a monkey, Ursulla~~

Yesterday, Something funny happened. You know kan, I was ready to go to college. While i packing my beg, i saw a mineral water on the table. Actually, i was too lazy to refill my bottle with water. Coz im in hurry anyway~
So i took the mineral water and off to college.

Arrived at the college. Walk on stairs to level 3. Room 303 i think~Enter the class. Sit and learning. Ha Ha.
When break time. Hah! Exhausted. Take my mineral water and drink.

*glug*

Me: (= =") what just happened? Why the taste are different? What kind of water i drank just now? OMG! ITS LANGKAU!! ( A.k.A arak putih, nemu d?)

* Smile alone*

I hope no one noticed me why im smiling alone.

Then i go home telling my mom the story, She laughed til death~ OMG!
Its your fault MOM!



Okay thats happened yesterday. And today...
Taking my Marketing subject. Learn unit 4 about MANAGING MARKETING INFORMATION.
Tahu ker? = ="
Trust me. I really don't understang the meaning. Even when the lecturer explain it, my brain go spinning without stop.
I hate to say this. Assignment. DAMD HELL SHIT !%#$%@#*&
Punyer la susah giler! Im death!
I was thinking, how will i do the assignment alone. And oso the presentation. What should i present??Urgh! Sorry Mom, my mistake to take the wrong course. Theres no other way to quit from it, rite? But i will tried my best mom.

**sob..sob**

God guiding me lord. Give me strength to complete my assignment. Amen.

Fight + Defend = Sacrifice

Stare out my window. Look at the trees. I was thinking if i could be the tree. If i wish i could be the tree, i wish i could be the tree at the backyard of my Leon (not real name) house. Why? Cause i can't go far apart from him. I want to be with him every single day.
When im with him, i never think to look at another men. Thats it. My life complete. Coz i got him already.

I don't care people talkin shit infront, left, right or even at the back of me. Coz that is not important at all. No reason cause i hate em. Sbab ku anggap their words ya ribut ba. Do i look care about that? Sorry naik lori la. Pa ku peduli. .If aku terasa or sik ka pa salah? Semua manusia berhak terasa ba. Ya Tuhan cipta perasaan manusia kedak ya? Am i right? Mun salah, ya korang punya pasai la. Harhar~

Holiday is coming soon. MIRI, IM COMING HOME!
1 week holiday.
Tidak sabar rasanya~ I can't wait to meet him. Really miss him a lot.

Urh!

Today, i attended my first class for subject Marketing. Dahla aku tok demam gik. I've been forced my mom to attend the class. I rather die in that time. Damd. Banyak ketinggalan subject~
Haih. Lot of chinese student. Urh! Tension gue~
Only me the bumiputera one. =3=.. creepy.
Suddenly.. some of this word came out from miss catryn. The lecturer.
She say about the presesntation. OMG! What presentation?? Im new student here, hellow!
Scare me~
Urh! what should i do? what should i do?..
Glad got no assignment for this week. Got technical problem. Nasib2.
Well. At least i can catched something that i had learned today.
Chinese student make me creepy~.. seram sejuk aku..
Arghhh!

Baby Sitting.

What?! I have to take care of him! Make a milk, Shower him, Sleeping him, change his diapers, throw his poop! euww! Urhh~ Please make me cry!
Suffer! Choked and die, Please~
O damd. I hate do that. Im not ready to be a "mother". Kids? Stay away from me!
Damd u lil bro! U are totally a MONKEY! Urrrgh! Im so tired because of you!
kacau sana, kacau sini! Hissh! MONYET!

Wat a stupid college! need to pay again! PENALTY?! Fuck off! RM50! Urgggh! u guys didnt tell me all the details about the college! SHIT! PAYUI! Y all private college like that! Class just only once a week? urgggh! Manah nda iboh skul skali..Rugi ngapa!
Stupid College! Just now u give me the name tag. kan bodo!

Yesterday~
i fight wif my boyfriend. Duhh~ Whats my false, babe? is it wrong that i try to make u happy? Its my "credit" to call you. Not yours. I told you rite, if i tell u, u say wrong. If i didnt tell you, u oso say me wrong. Wat do you want actually babe? Tell Me. I need to know. I dont want to force you anymore. I love you so much~ Damd love you and miss you. I accept ur forgiveness babe. I know you love me. :)Thanks babe.

I LOVE MY SAYANG, ALWAYS!!

Na..na...na...

Oh.. today having a good time~
Still awake at this time... tick tock tick tock~ watch the clock..

ArrrH~ 4 am.. Nice Ursulla.. keep it up!

Yeah! 4 a.m~ didn't sleep yet. It will repeating again soon. Gladly tomorrow no class. What a boring.
As usually. Writing my blog here. Crapping here crapping there. Huuh~ Just 4 fun isn't it?
Just now, my uncle and her wife took me for a walked to the MBKS. Actually i dunno where it was. Kuching? DUUH~
How im supposed to know. Uh!
We go there by motorcycle. It take 2 trip to go there. My uncle sent her wife and her daughter first. Then im the last.
The place where we went to is not quite far away from the place where we live. How great!
After arrived, i can see many stall selling a food, drink and many more. Just like "pasar tani" except didn't selling a fruit and vegetable.
Then..We went to the Garden Park.

GEEESH~ how awewsome. The landscape touch my view. Damd! Beauty. I try to take my own photo but to crowded with people so im giving up. To shy. Huhu.
But i just took this pic.
I took this pic here.
Haih! The light disturb the view. Cannot see clearly. Sorry yah~
Really nice park. Really nice place for date. Haha. Sadly, i dont have any date. >_<>Hate GAY! Euuw~

First day class :)

At last~ Something that i wish for so long time... Came true. Ahhh~
Nerdy Nerdy here i COME!


Im now in Kuching. I continued my study in Segi College. Nice campus :)
Yesterday, is my registration for August intake. Everything doing so far so good.
Okay. After all the registration and the payment are complete. Now, lets talk about the accommodation of the college. Mom talked to the admin about the accommodation/ hostel for me. Quite expensive also.
Talk talk and talk~ Fullstop. Then, this lady came. My mom told her whether we can see the hostel first. Then the lady nodded. And we followed her to the hostel.

After arrived at the hostel~ = =".. Puting beliung pun datang~ woooosh! woooosh!
OMG! Its amazing HORRIBLE! Euww! Who want to live a place like that. I rather CHOKED myself and DIE on the spot! I live in the jungle is better.
I just keep my mouth shut. I saw my mom face, I knew she don't want me to stay in that kinda place. I can read my mom thoughts. Its dirty and really disgusting place i ever saw.Plus, the room is shared with the boy rooms. WTF~
Mom still discovered around the hostel. And me. Could not watch it anymore.
Suddenly my mom told me.

Mom: Kak d bilik tok ursulla? Nyu baka nama~
Me: *Thinking.* Nodded. ( How stupid i am = ="..Uh!)

Mom still think about it first. Not comfirm yet.
We went back to the car. Mom called my uncle and tell him wether the place where he live got a room 4 rent or not.
Thank GOD! My uncle told her tat got a room for rent in his place.

The hostel? Boleh Blah! Bye Bye~

The place where my uncle live is not far from my campus. It takes about 5-10 minute if i walked from my uncle place to the campus. Nasib baik dekat~hmm~ :)

Well yesterday is my first class in Segi College. Doing so fine. Meet new people. Hee~
Kinda have fun with it. Yeay! Totally be nerdy.. aha!

Happy no reason

1 more day left before i moved to Kuching to further my study. Today, Suddenly i feel happy. No reason why. Crazy? Indeed i am.

Thinking back what i was doing last nite is really crazy and insane. Drink a beers and get drunk, punch a wall. Ouch! HURTS! Damd It! And cried hardly like a person who are going to die. I dunno where the hell i am that time.
When i look back in the mirror, i saw myself turned into someone else. Someone who lost their identity. Empty. Without nothing inside in their life. Feel weak, unhappy and hate.
Seriously, i didnt know what just happened to me last nite. Possesed? Think it twice, maybe No.
Or Depressed? Think twice, Sure is. Its really insane and crazy and idiot things that i had made in my life in this whole Damd Week. Im suffer enough.
I feel really guilty that i make my ex come into my life again.Like parasit that sneak out into someone life. If i know he is not single, I won't took him back. Cause it will make me hurts.
Now. Look. What just happened to both of us. We both suffered. We both hurt. I thought taking him back will make everything's okay. But it gave both of us like a disaster. Like tsunami.
Now. I dont want to think about what happened last nite. Really idiot i am. =.=

Why must have love? Love just hurting peoples heart. There are lies and unhonest. My lovelife sucks! You know what. I dont have any feeling to be in love with anyone else. I dunno why. Coz, i only got my ex. Hmm~
I dont care what people talking shit behind me about why i still wanted my ex back .. Look like i care?? I just follow my heart. But am i doing the right things?
I dont really know. I just know that i am stupid. = ="
Just now i called my ex. Im happy to heard tis part.

Me: Are you happy :)?

Biey: I am happy.

Me: Why?

Biey: Because i can be with you again.

Me: (smile) ( I knew it!) If i change my number do you want me to tell u my number?

Biey: (suddenly mad) You have to! Are you trying to throw me after you find me! What happened to you!

Me: (scared) Im just asking. I didnt meant to throw you again after i found u. I didnt want to lose you...~

He really mad. I got no idea to say. So i just listen to what he say. But i think 4 sure. He never ever gonna believe me. Naaah! Zipped my mouth.
Just now i delete my Friendster and my Facebook. Uh! Will miss em.
Now, Its time to think whats good. Clear all my bad thinking and my bad feelings. Deleted. Its time to start a new life. Life that i always want to live with it. My future. Study!Heaven Yeah!
Love will be my second. No need to rushed in life. I wish i could be a success person and be myself just like today. I wish i could be the happiest and craziest person ever. Congrats to me! :)

This Is the Time

This is it. This is the time. i could not hold it any longer. Im tired for looking other colleges to study.
Give me headache saje~
This evening i just received an application form from Segi College. I took a course in Diploma in Businness Management. Kinda hard for me to choose that course. Just now i called my mum.

Me: Mom, i just received a application form from segi college. I take course about Business managent. Can I, mom?

Mom: Business management? Got any other course than that? You take that course its difficult for you. U can't calculate.

Me: *1+1=2 2+2=4(Think). Mom, I dont want to take nursing course. *I know i love science to much(think again). But i want to take this course also mom. The intake will be held on this 17 august. I want to book a ticket to Kuching next week. Maybe leave on 15 august?

Mom: Okay then. Depend on you. But dont try to give up on your study again like yours Open University. I dont want that happend. 15 August? Got early than that?

Me: Errm. Got. But its to expensive. 15 August got RM117 for Air Asia. And MAS like RM154. So how mom?

Mom: Book the early one . Book on Thursday. Early is better. Ask your sister or your dad too book it for you. No. Ask your dad to buy a ticket for you. Understand?

Me: Yaya. Understood. Later i tell him. Thats it mom.

Mom: Bah..Bah..

( No Goodbye greeting) = ="

Now. I didnt tell my dad about the ticket coz he's not home yet. Drink Addict Person. Huh~
What i do just wait for him to arrive. But i thing that i know for sure. He come home and he drunk~

Welcome back my good mood! :)
- The End-