Im Happy Happy:))

OMG. I never be happy like this since im with Clayton before. When im with him, something went so wrong. Can't do that. Can't do this. Hey mr, I can take care of myself. I have a brain to think. Not like you. Short-minded.

Now you tell me that you feel regret followed the "samseng" group? Who ask you to join them hah?! You know i benci nangga kw masuk ngan geng cdak Tiger ya. Pa faedah kw ikut cdak?? Mok minta burukkan nama family kediri ka?? Tengok la sendiri dolok, kw ya masih kecik ka dah besar?? dah tua2 x pandei mok bepikir panjang! Ya la! pentingkan diri sendiri. Ingat aku mok ka nanga gerek ku "samseng"! WTF la. Then, i decided to break up with him. Can't continued our relationship like this.

Fullstop. Are you happy now?? Totally :)

Just came back from Rainforest. It Ladies Nite. SALUTE! damd wow. Its really happening there. The place where i wanted to go. CLUBBING of coz! Ha Ha. Where my happy mood begin to shout!

Me.Vie.Erry.Andrew.Mr dJ.

Me & dj

Me. Ery.Awa.

We were followed by my cousins and their friends. OMG! Really happening giler..
Saw them play the snooker too. Saw them drink. Ehem. Im not an alcoholic person okay. I've got gastrick if i take an alcoholic drinks. Say no to IT!
Saw them get drunk! AH! How funny. Make me laughed all the time. Then, wathing the Dj played the Rnb songs, make we want to Dance! I followed them dancing too! WOOHOO! I like~
I say Richie dancing SHUFFLE while he drunk. Haha. Not bad.
While we're danced, i look to this chick or "bitch" dancing like..err.. i dont know. Everytime i looked makes me wanna puke.. Gross~ Aiyayai. So BITCH!
With the music non- stop, we're enjoy ourself dancing. My cousin dancing on the chair. OMG! Make me laughed.. Ha Ha. Try to follow that bitch dancing too?? .. haha. Roboh pub kelak.

While i went to the toilet followed by my cousin, i saw this cute guy looking at me and smiling at me. His a kayanesse. I smiled him back la. Ngee.
Then we talked. Just for a coupled of minutes. Coz i want to pee. Haha.
My heart really pounding. I think i fall in love with him. I dont care if him drunker or smoker. I like him. SO CUTE.
After pee, i went to my sit. haah~ lega. Then we enjoy for more than hours. Very fun time.

Around 1:45 am, we stop. All my cousin and friend are drunked. I went to upstair waiting for them. Suddenly this cute guy holding my waist. I shocked. I was him.
OMG! My heart pounding very fast. He was drunk also. But still can talked with me.
Nothing talk much. Bla.. bla..bla.
When i near him, i feel so warm and so happy. I was thinking " wish you kiss me now i dont care".. haha. stupid thoughts.
Im so pity of him that i told him im about to go home. He told me that he want to sent me home. I refused it. Im still scare of people okay. Then i left. With a big smile on my face.

Goodbye College. Goodbye Kuching. Gonna Miss it.

Quiting college. Seems like i make a big mistake in my life. I mean really big mistake. I thought i could go far. But im stranded on the middle of the road.

What have I've done? Am I gonna ruin my own future? What will happen to you? Are do you the right things?

Those creepy question keep hunting me everyday causing me can't make any decisions . My mouth zipped. And i couldn't answer it. I was in my own FANTASY.

I am no one. I'm not perfect. I have my LOVE-LIFE suck. I'm easily giving up. I'm weak. I'm just a lonely person with too many secret inside that no one couldn't figure. I couldn't believe my own faith either.

My LOVE-LIFE try to fade me away. I was lost because of it.
Why LOVE should exist? Why LOVE makes people hurts? Why I must have those FEELINGS??
I don't need all those things. I don't believe in LOVE anymore. LOVE hunted me.
I know me and him couldn't make it trough. Unfair is it? This world so cruel is it? If i have one wish, I wish i could turn back time where all its happened. Where I've done a big mistake onto him. Im sorry for what I've done. I've destroyed our relationship. There's nothing both of us can't do. One of your side can't accept me. Neither am i.
I know we both can accept it. But we have too. It for our best. We have to let our LOVE go and i couldn't say goodbye.

Remembering those memories of you and me. How hurts to remembering it. You take my happiness. My heart faded.
How will i be happy without you? I just can't pretend i'm happy and fake my smile so no one could no how broken and weak am i.

My life turns black. I couldn't saw any light. Its dark.

Soon, I'm leaving. Leaving my college and leaving this town. I'm going back to where i belong. I couldn't stayed here too much longer. I know i couldn't take care of myself. I always getting sick. I've lost my appetite. Sleep too late. I was stressed and depressed.
Living in a rent room alone..can caused me CRAZY. I couldn't stand it anymore. I need to go back home. I'm suffered enough.

"YOU'LL NEVER KNOW HOW BEING ALONE FEELS LIKE WITHOUT SOMEONE".

I already feels it.

Books.

WANTED!!

I bought this.
Wanted all that book. Hell Yeah! Nighmare come to me.
Vampire bite me please. Witch, spell on me!

Im Stupid :(

Goodnite??

Its morning already. A dark morning. He he.
Now 1:38 am. WOW. Still not sleep yet. Thats sound good. Heh!
Shhhh~ Dont tell my boyfriend i sleep late always. Zipped. I dont want him too much worry about me. Sorry sweetheart. L<3ve>. Mwah!

This morning i didnt come to Microeconomics class. Study burden me. Cant think and understand. Urrgh! My eyes sleepy. Last nite i sleep late too.
I was too lazy to walk to the college. I wish i have a bicycle. Only me use a bicycle to the college? Crazy Uh! No way. I dont want that happen.
Urgh! I cant focus to study anymore. IM STUPID, okay?! Im not that clever person. I just have 30% intellegent part in my brain. The others, lost/dissapear.
How im going to tell my mom i want to quit my study? Should i pretend i took an exam this december and fail then tell her i dont want to take exam anymore for excuses the payment is too expensive??? O God. What have i done! I can't save myself. My future is ruin. Im ruin it. :(
I really regret it now. I feel quilty to my mom.

"Im sorry Mom. I know u will mad at me. I cant really do this anymore. I want to quit. Im sorry i waste your money. Later i pay you back. "=.=

( wish i could use this word to talk face 2 face with her. EEEeee..~ takutnyer aku! )
When its time, I will tell her everything. Ready kena bom atom.. :(

“Tomorrow will give us something to think about”

To think what?? I think everyday ! Til my brain explode? urggh!

Im So Alone

Hello bloggee..

Its been a week, I mean.. More than a week! urgh!
My laptop was sent to shop for repair. LCD broken. It took so long to repaired. Promised finish in 1 week. More than a week, still not done yet! CIBAI! Macam2 alasan cdak nya!
So i took my laptop back.Still with the LCD crack. HUH!
For more than a week i didn't do nothing. Without my laptop, Im really bored to death. NO WAY!
I need my laptop..

Bloggee,

Yesterday, My mom going back to Miri. Im ALONE. I was crying that day saw them leaving. Hurts to say GOODBYE!..
Then, my lil bro saw me crying. He oso crying. When i hold him, i try to let he go but he didnt. I was crying and crying. I hugged him.
Then, they left.

IM SO ALONE :(